So you see, whether you use the term complicated or intricate, it’s very much a beautiful thing.  We are also as women multifaceted.  I especially like this description because when you mention the word “facets” something comes to mind, diamonds.  Gentlemen, diamonds are still a girl’s best friend, if you needed to be reminded of that.  We are multifaceted.

Did you know that the more facets a diamond has, the greater its brilliance?  The greater facets a woman has, the more brilliant she becomes.  I am not speaking of brilliance in terms of smarts.  I’m talking about brilliance in terms of what God has placed in her to shine in this world.

God has created us intricately and he has made us multifaceted.  Today is the day that we are going to look at two of the stamps that he has placed on our lives and we are going to celebrate all that he has done for us and through us.

Just so I won’t be one-sided on this matter, I’ve decided to give the stage up to my husband, Ed Young, who is going to join me so we can be fair in our discussion of talking about women.  Thanks, Ed, for joining me.

Ed:  Thank you, Lisa.  You know, one of the things that Lisa and I like to do is to lift weights together.  We work out in a little gym in Grapevine.  About a month and a half ago, I was talking to a friend who is in our student ministry here at Fellowship.

Folks, what we are — I’m talking about the style, the appearance — it’s fading, it’s eroding.  It doesn’t last.  The Bible says again in 1 Samuel 16:7, “Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.”  How many of you are trading the eternal for the external?  What if you put about half the time you’re putting into your appearance and your style, took that block of time and energy, and put it into God’s word, put it into spending time with Him, put it into fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ?  What would happen in your life?

Does God, then, want us to wear burlap sacks, never bathe, shave, or use deodorant?  Is that what God is saying here?  No, it’s not.  The Bible calls our bodies the temples of the Holy Spirit.  We should look as good as possible.  But if this style, appearance thing begins to get out of focus, it will wear you out.

A lot of people are smart.  A lot of us are saying, “Ed, I’ve been on that before, and I’ve said, “Stop!  I’m tired!”” and we jump from this one to the next one.  We just kind of make one giant leap and say, “Surely this will do it!  You know, the style thing didn’t work.  I know what I’ll do: I’ll try status.  Oh, yeah, status.  That will surely bring me value.  That will settle the issue for me.  That will settle the “Do I matter?” question.”  Proverbs 11:7 in the Good News: “Confidence placed in riches comes to nothing.”  Status.  I love that word.  Here’s the way I remember it: people who are into status keep stats on us.  Get it?  Stats on us.  “I’m going to keep score.”  You see, the root of materialism, the root of status, is a poor self-esteem.  We think we can buy confidence, don’t we?  This status deal is a moving target.  It’s tough to focus on it.  It’s tough to get the  crosshairs right on it because it changes: what’s hot, what’s not.

This search leads us to a place where most individuals spend the majority of their lives searching, living, dying, crying, and being frustrated, right in this arena.  I’m talking about the self-esteem machine arena.  This search leads us to three treadmills.  The Bible mentions these three treadmills time and time again.  But remember, it’s God-ordained for me to want security, for me to want to feel loved, for me to love myself.

The first treadmill that most of us climb on to is the treadmill called style.  We jump on the treadmill and we grasp the railings and we say, “Style.  Appearance.  Surely if I work on the style, surely if I’m really into the appearance, that will give me dignity, that will give me value, that will give me esteem.”  Many of you are kind of how I was during that physical exam a while back.  You’re going, “[pant pant] I’m going to stay with it!  I’m going to stay with the style machine!  Surely that will give me meaning.”

Here’s what the Bible tells us.  Proverbs 31:30: “Charm can be deceptive,” do you agree with that?  “Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn’t last.”  If you base your worth solely on style, on appearance, you’re setting yourself up for insecurity.  Think about it.  About 80% of the beauty products we purchase are designed to camouflage the aging process.

Every time I read this verse, Proverbs 31:30, “Charm can be deceptive, and beauty doesn’t last,” I think about the story of the two guys playing golf at Bear Creek.  An elderly woman streaks across the fairway with nothing on.  One golfer says to the other, “Did you see what she was wearing?”  And the other one says to the first golfer, “No, I didn’t, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing.”

The book of Proverbs tells us this about our thoughts.  Proverbs 23:7.  “As he thinks within himself, so is he.”   It is amazing to say, but a lot of us trash talk to ourselves.  We talk ourselves down.  We abuse ourselves.  Many of us have been believing lies and half-truths and unrealistic statements for years and years and years.  Because we say these things over and over, we believe them and then we act on those beliefs.  Question.  What conversations do you monitor and what conversations do you disregard?  Any time the subject of self-esteem comes up, you had better listen.  You had better strain your ears.  When you talk about who you are, that is important.

Maybe tomorrow morning a man will walk into an office building, into an elevator, punch the seventh floor button and on the way up say, “Oh, no, I’ve got a presentation to make.  It is important.  I am so nervous.  I stutter.  It is impossible to me to really communicate.  Why do they have me doing this?”  A self-defeating conversation.  Ten minutes later another person will walk into the office building, into the elevator, push the fourteenth floor button and say to himself, “I’m nervous.  I am kind of shaking right now.  God, I trust You.  I give my abilities to You, my gifts to You.  You have never failed me yet.  You are with me, Lord.  Here I go.”  Again, do you see the importance of our thoughts, of our self-dialogue?  Any time the subject of self-esteem comes up, listen.  That is how you get real with yourself.  Also, when the subject of your abilities and talents come up, you had better listen.  How do you listen, though?  First, interrupt yourself and call yourself a liar.  When you hear some of the lies, say wait a minute, that was a lie.  And also understand the fact of where the lies are generated.

The Sexperiment tells us that section of the book comes with this caveat: If you are older, from a highly conservative religious background, live far away from a major city, do not spend much time on the internet, or do not have cable television, the odds are that you will want to read this chapter while sitting down, with the medics ready on speed dial. Sexperiment is the new book of Ed Young and LisaYoung.

We’re running this race and we’re trying to teach our children about sexuality and “Oh-oh! Look at that hurdle – embarrassment. There’s no way I can clear that.  My vertical jump is not high enough. Oh no! What will I do?” Embarrassment. One parent says, “It’s called the birds and the bees and my shaking knees. I get a big lump in my throat and I’m a candidate for CPR if I even think about talking about sex with my children.”   Whoa, man!  Some erroneously view lovemaking in marriage as something dirty or something unholy. As we’ve said time and time again from this stage, God gave us the gift of sex primarily for pleasure; secondarily for procreation. The author of sex was not afraid to talk about it in a very straightforward way and neither should we. Song of Solomon found in the Bible is an instruction manual on how to romance and make love to your spouse.  Other Bible references include the first three or four chapters of Genesis and I Corinthians 7.  The book of Proverbs is a dialogue between a father and a son and the father takes the initiative to talk to his son about sex. So it’s time to jump the embarrassment hurdle.

There’s another hurdle though. This hurdle scares more people and frightens more parents from talking about sexuality than any other thing I know. It’s called “pain from the past”. “Ed, you mean I can take God’s Word and tell my son or daughter about sex when I have failed so miserably? No. You don’t realize where I’ve come from. In high school and college, I was involved in all of these illicit relationships. How could someone who failed so badly teach someone who is as pure as a child about sex?”

The Sexperiment tells us that since then, it has been called “full of misogynistic crap,” based on a faulty interpretation of the Bible and suffering from an identity crisis.There’s probably a reason “sex” is first in the title. The book starts out talking about what the Driscolls have learned in their marriage. Then it delves into the dos and don’ts of sex, according to the Bible. (Or Driscoll’s interpretation of the Bible, at least.) New book of Ed Young “Sexperiment“.

Here is how you do it.  Teach and model.  Parents, teach and model.  You begin when they are young teaching the decision-making process and then modeling how to do it.  You teach them how to draw relational lines, spiritual lines, physical lines.  You teach them by using God’s word.

You teach them by taking them to church.  You say, when you want to make a decision, make sure it is under the authority of God’s word.  Make sure that you have talked to God about it, that you have sought wise counsel from friends.  After you teach them, then you model it, parents.  Because children learn how to make decisions from Mom and Dad.  They are watching you, every second of every day.  How does Dad handle himself in this situation?  How does Mom formulate that choice?  And then, they will end up making choices like we do.

The choices you make today, parents, will be the choices your children will make as they get older.  Because while they are growing up they pretty much do what you want them to do.  Once they hit the teenage years, though, they do what you do.

A quick example.  Let’s take relationship.  I am talking about teaching and modeling.  I am talking about drawing and establishing personal boundaries.  The Bible says in no uncertain terms that we are to date those people who know Jesus Christ personally.  The Bible says we are not to be unequally yoked with nonbelievers in a close relationship.  And God gives us this directive because of His love.  He could not stand the thought of people He loved living with someone or relating to someone on an intimate level who doesn’t have that common denominator which has to be Jesus Christ.

Neither your marriage, nor your dating relationship, nor friendship can ever reach the top level until Jesus is at the center.  Children are watching you, parents, and they are seeing how you choose friends, they are watching your relational qualities.  As you teach how to relate, as you model relationships, then you give them decision-making rope in order to choose their own friends.  And while they are growing up, as they choose their friends, you coach them.  You applaud them or you tell them where they are going wrong.  And sometimes, parents, you are going to have to step in and say, “I don’t think it is a good idea for you to go over to his house.”   “I don’t think it is in your best interest to have a sleep-over with her family, with that person.”

The Sexperiment tells us that  seattle’s most controversial pastor just gave his critics more ammunition. Mark Driscoll, the head of the ever-expanding Mars Hill Church, is under criticism for a book he wrote with his wife, Grace. “Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship and Life Together” was released last week. Ed Young new book sexperiment.

Ed young Pastor stated that the second transitional stage will really, really hit us where we live.  It is the transition of the aging parent or parents.  The fastest growing age group in our country today is the sixty-five and older crowd.  Half of the sixty-five and older crowd will need a nursing home facility to care for them.  Ninety percent of these individuals, buckle your seat belt, will not be able to pay the tab for their own care after twenty-four months.  Whoa!  What an issue.  And we say to ourselves, “My house is not big enough to take care of my parents.  I don’t have enough money.  I don’t have enough time.”  This transitional period, ladies and gentlemen, is as old as the Fifth Commandment in the Bible.  “Honor your father and your mother.”  We are to take care of our parents.  They cared for us when we were children.  As the cycle continues, we, in turn, take care of them.  Jesus recognized this.  When He was hanging there naked on the cross, paying the price for your sins and mine, right before He bled to death, He looked down and saw His mother.  He said, “John, take care of My mother.”  He realized this major transition and He wanted to make sure His Mom was properly attended to.  Plan for the future.  Prepare for those transitions.

According to The Sexperiment U stands for uniqueness.  Recognize your family’s uniqueness.  We are all different, aren’t we?  We are utterly unique.  My wife and I have twins.  They are girls, twenty months old.  Oftentimes Laurie will walk up to the television set and turn it on and off, on and off, on and off.  I will say, “Laurie, no.”  And Laurie is sensitive and when she hears me say no, she will back up and won’t do it again.  Conversely, Landra will walk up to the television set and turn it on and off, on and off, on and off.  “Landra, honey, no.”  On and off, on and off, on and off.  “Landra, no.”  On and off, on and off, on and off.  When I take a step toward her, she will back up but when I turn around again, on and off, on and off, on and off.  How can this be?  Twins, brought into the world by the same people, living in the same home, in the same culture, the same environment, the same context.  They are different.

The Sexperiment wants us to know that Ed Young and Lisa Young created the book sexperiment ‘This is not just stuff that I have pulled out of my mind… These are issues I have dealt with for 15 years and it is battle tested,’ he said to the network. He added that he ‘will endure as much criticism as necessary to help as many people as [he] can.’